Matt's Anthology

I have never written about this in my blog postings before but here it goes… I am Bipolar Type 2 rapid cycling. What that means scientifically is that the chemicals in my brain are jacked up and I go from Manic to Depressed in a rapid cycling mode, sometimes several times a day. I am on medication for it and follow certain routines to keep it under control. It has cost me a lot in life to be this way. It will cost me much more in the future. It has been very difficult since I was diagnosed in 2012 but most of the difficulty comes from all of the years that I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Know I know that God “knew me before He formed me in my mother’s womb” so I don’t have any doubts I was supposed to be this way for some greater purpose of His but again, it has been extremely difficult.
I awoke this morning in kind of a funk about things so I decided to read my Bible. As it turns out, which doesn’t happen much, the pages fell open to 2 Corinthians chapter 12 verses 7-10. In this passage Paul writes “Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given to me a messenger of Satan to torment me-to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored The Lord three (hundred thousand-personal experience added) times that it may leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weakness, so the power of Christ May dwell with me.”
After reading the passage it hit me, I am walking through this world boasting about the wrong things. See I work and live in an ego driven environment where everyone boasts/brags about what their strengths are. As a manager I have even found myself asking the question in interviews of potential new employees. I have decided to stop asking the question. I have decided to stop trying to live my life pleasing people with what i am strong in. I have decided to let people see the real Matt (if they can’t handle it, that is on them). Oh I won’t stop using my strengths when God needs me to but I won’t hide in the shadows of my strengths for my sake.
So I declare this day and in the days to come, “most gladly, I will boast about my weakness, so the power of Christ May dwell with me”.
I will Stop boasting about the wrong things…

~ by MGilstrap on January 29, 2014.

Posted in Biblical Lessons